“Our headlong rush into new techniques of machine-aided ‘auto-science-fiction’, before we have fully studied their implications for the structure of reality itself, is foolhardy in the extreme, and demands quick legislative action. Justin Smith-Ruiu is by far the most reckless contributor to this worrisome new trend.”
Hi Justin, I got in touch with ChronoSwooper tech support, and here is their answer. Unfortunately, it doesn't promise anything, and even worse, looks clearly AI-generated. Here it is, just in case it might help:
Hello there, ChronoSwooper time-traveler! I appreciate you reaching out to us in this peculiar situation. It seems you've encountered a glitch in the space-time continuum. Let's try something unconventional to get you back to the present.
- Retro Tech Power Boost: If you can find a local blacksmith, ask them to fashion a makeshift charging device using materials available in the past. You'll need some ingenuity and maybe a bit of copper wiring. Connect it to your iPhone, and who knows, the retro energy boost might just trigger a temporal shift back to the present.
- Quantum Paradox Code Injection: Open the ChronoSwooper app on your iPhone and simultaneously recite the Fibonacci sequence backward while standing on one foot. It's a long shot, but the quantum paradox created by this unusual combination might confuse the app enough to initiate a return to the present.
- Time-Traveler's Morse Code SOS: Send a series of Morse code signals using your iPhone flashlight. Try signaling the SOS distress code or even something unique. This might catch the attention of a tech-savvy time-traveler from the present who can assist in your return.
Remember, these suggestions are a bit out there, and we can't guarantee their success. If all else fails, stay calm, and we'll do our best to figure out a solution from this end. Good luck!
--- I asked for more details on how to effect the Retro Tech Power Boost, and the answer from the tech support chatbot was:
Certainly! For the Retro Tech Power Boost, let's dive into the specifics:
- Materials Needed:
Copper Wiring: Look for copper or any conductive metal available in the past.
Insulating Material: Find something to insulate the wiring, like natural fibers or materials that prevent electrical contact.
- Constructing the Charging Device:
Voltage Compatibility: Ensure the charging voltage is within the iPhone's acceptable range (typically 5V). If available, locate a local physics enthusiast who might guide you in determining the voltage.
- Cable Colors:
Red: Traditionally associated with positive polarity, connect this to the positive terminal of your makeshift charger.
Black: Used for negative polarity, attach this to the negative terminal. Insulate the connections well to prevent short circuits.
- Activating the Retro Tech Power Boost:
Once the makeshift charging device is connected, focus your thoughts on returning to the present while reciting a mantra or phrase related to time travel. Keep an eye on your iPhone to see if there are any signs of a temporal shift.
Remember, this is a highly experimental approach, and success is not guaranteed. If you encounter any unforeseen issues or if the iPhone shows signs of overheating, disconnect immediately. Stay safe and best of luck!
BTW, it'd Dec 10. I am astonished that I seem to be the first to mention.
It’s December 10th in 2023 and I still can’t get more than two bars of LTE here in southern Colorado.
Yeah Justin! My favourite one yet. Bravo.
Hi Justin, I got in touch with ChronoSwooper tech support, and here is their answer. Unfortunately, it doesn't promise anything, and even worse, looks clearly AI-generated. Here it is, just in case it might help:
Hello there, ChronoSwooper time-traveler! I appreciate you reaching out to us in this peculiar situation. It seems you've encountered a glitch in the space-time continuum. Let's try something unconventional to get you back to the present.
- Retro Tech Power Boost: If you can find a local blacksmith, ask them to fashion a makeshift charging device using materials available in the past. You'll need some ingenuity and maybe a bit of copper wiring. Connect it to your iPhone, and who knows, the retro energy boost might just trigger a temporal shift back to the present.
- Quantum Paradox Code Injection: Open the ChronoSwooper app on your iPhone and simultaneously recite the Fibonacci sequence backward while standing on one foot. It's a long shot, but the quantum paradox created by this unusual combination might confuse the app enough to initiate a return to the present.
- Time-Traveler's Morse Code SOS: Send a series of Morse code signals using your iPhone flashlight. Try signaling the SOS distress code or even something unique. This might catch the attention of a tech-savvy time-traveler from the present who can assist in your return.
Remember, these suggestions are a bit out there, and we can't guarantee their success. If all else fails, stay calm, and we'll do our best to figure out a solution from this end. Good luck!
--- I asked for more details on how to effect the Retro Tech Power Boost, and the answer from the tech support chatbot was:
Certainly! For the Retro Tech Power Boost, let's dive into the specifics:
- Materials Needed:
Copper Wiring: Look for copper or any conductive metal available in the past.
Insulating Material: Find something to insulate the wiring, like natural fibers or materials that prevent electrical contact.
- Constructing the Charging Device:
Voltage Compatibility: Ensure the charging voltage is within the iPhone's acceptable range (typically 5V). If available, locate a local physics enthusiast who might guide you in determining the voltage.
- Cable Colors:
Red: Traditionally associated with positive polarity, connect this to the positive terminal of your makeshift charger.
Black: Used for negative polarity, attach this to the negative terminal. Insulate the connections well to prevent short circuits.
- Activating the Retro Tech Power Boost:
Once the makeshift charging device is connected, focus your thoughts on returning to the present while reciting a mantra or phrase related to time travel. Keep an eye on your iPhone to see if there are any signs of a temporal shift.
Remember, this is a highly experimental approach, and success is not guaranteed. If you encounter any unforeseen issues or if the iPhone shows signs of overheating, disconnect immediately. Stay safe and best of luck!
WAIT a dang minute. She dissed Leonard Nimoy and you still LIKED her? As she says in her note ‘geez.’